In the Northeast, the rate of Covid-19 transmission and infection is dropping down to the point where I only have two Covid patients left on my service.
Both of them are relatively young and strong men who will likely need oxygen for the rest of their lives.
Be that as it may, the focus of life as we emerge from isolation, is now on prevention of spread and trying to keep the horror of March / April / May from happening again.
(We all know it’s going to come back in the fall, but for our own sanity, we’re “whistling past the graveyard” and trying to pretend it didn’t happen)
But it did.
I’m Sorry
When I unilaterally declared on a previous blog post that it was over, I was only thinking about it for us… here where I live. Not for the rest of the country.
For that I am sorry.
It isn’t over.
I will not go into politics, but I will go into the discussion of willful ignorance and stupidity.
I would have thought that when the New York area was going through three months of death and upheaval, the rest of the country would have paid attention. When every outlet (official and unofficial) was advising us all on how to stop the spread of this virus, society as a whole would have listened.
Really?
But no.
The medical professionals have listened and are now using the best practices that we developed while we were in hell, to attempt to salvage life. But the populations in the Southeast and Southwest do not honor their healthcare workers, they do not honor their elderly, and most of all do not honor themselves, and do not take measures to protect themselves.
I’m not saying that everyone is doing it, but enough people are blinded by selfish desires couched in the finest rationalizations, to cause spread of Covid and invite death into their midst. The way to stop the spread is well known.
It’s easy.
Grow up, wear a damn mask. Wash your hands. Social distance.
It’s not political, it is human.
In this season of exposed lies, of exposed fear, and exposed hatred… be that spark that exposes love for one another.
In the spaces between seeing patients, calling families, and writing notes come thoughts. Psychologists would call them “invasive”, and yes I know that left unexamined, these things can be dangerous. Luckily, we have our social worker who regularly (and insightfully) does an informal debrief on us.
She probably thinks we don’t notice but we do and we’re thankful.
When did it really start?
The gift shop has St. Patrick’s Day stuff.
When we come into work in the mornings, we are temperature checked and then need to swipe our ID cards into a card reader. What this does, is to document that we’ve been checked and presumably that we are aware of the danger of going to work.
When we were talking about when it really started, an image from this morning came to mind. The card reader is right outside of the Gift Shop. When you look into the gift shop , it’s still full of St. Patrick’s Day cards, green hats, St. Patty Cards, and the very beginning of Easter Chocolate Bunnies.
The gift shop was closed in early March, when all the volunteers were sent home and now sits like a clock frozen at the time of a disaster, it’s cheerful Trinkets heralding holidays that were just days of anxiety and fear in the hospital in which it lives.
The days after that came almost unnoticed, the hours of terror turning us all into zombies, lumbering on under increasingly heavy loads until after two weeks it became normal.
Like Monuments To The Lost
This morning on rounds my team and I had to walk by the security holding closet. This is the closet that hospital security uses to keep an admitted patient’s belongings until they are being discharged or until family comes to retrieve them.
Now normally this isn’t even an after-thought and I’d be hard pressed to even tell you were it is.
I know where it is now.
Like monuments to those lost
Security was emptying the closet of unclaimed bags of personal effects and getting them ready for long-term storage. Hundreds of bags all stacked neatly along the hallway; generic hospital issue clear bags, shopping bags, backpacks with decorative patches, and large inter office envelopes all being labeled with the names of those lost to Covid, awaiting some future relative who would claim them.
As we walked away from that sight, it reminded me of headstones, marking the life of someone who came to us and never left, their lives remembered in a small pile of clothing and shoes.
Images that stoke a memory.
Hope?
Recently, there have been reports of the possible effectiveness of a drug by the name of dexamethasone in treating Covid-19.
Dexamethasone
Dexamethasone is a steroid and what steroids do is suppress the immune response. If you recall, the danger of Covid is the way it stimulates the immune response into destroying the body’s lungs and kidneys. A drug (like Remdisivir and dexamethasone ) that decreases the immune response should help this phase of the disease.
The preliminary reports show that when given at the right time, it improves short term survival by five percent. There is no data about quality of life or long term survival.
So it’s a good thing. Better would be that you wear a mask and don’t get sick in the first place.
I live and work in New York (Long Island specifically) and things have pretty much settled down at our hospitals.
The make-shift ICUs have been dismantled, COVID patients on vents relegated to a small area in the back of the MICU (Medical ICU). The non-intubated people housed in three hallways of the unit that had always been designated for infectious diseases. Those areas still have the COVID look to them, bags taped to walls and blue plastic gowns hung from hooks, but there is less desperation than there was.
The patients that were going to die in the ICUs are slowly dying, regardless of what the families want and what any doctor could ever do. Those not on vents are going home (with oxygen and forever damaged lungs -pulmonary cripples) or still short of breath on high concentration of oxygen and clearly going nowhere.
At least the families can come to the windows and see their relatives from outside the buildings. And we’re beginning to let some families come visit those near death.
Everywhere else in the hospital it’s different. We still all wear masks (a habit that will probably live on for a good long time) but the rooms are now immaculate, the floors shiny and the walls all freshly painted. All hint of the horror covered in bright white with earth-tone trim.
I was rounding with my team this week when our social worker (a brilliant woman who was “parachuted” into the hospital from our hospice affiliate on a grant to help us – she arrived as the “tide” was washing out) noted the look in our eyes and the blank eyes of the nurses on the floors and asked us, “but how did it feel?”
It Was Dark
The lights weren’t bright enough
As a group, including some floor and ICU staff, we all had similar recollections.
It was dark. Not literally, but no matter how many lights were on – the hallways, rooms, and offices felt darker than they should have been. The atmosphere inside was “heavy”, hard to breath.
We all agreed that we actually couldn’t remember what it was like… more like we didn’t want to remember it, but we all had individual “moments” we remembered. One nurse said that she couldn’t remember anything about those weeks, but vividly described an incident in which two young patients coded in the same room and they had to choose which one to intubate first and which one to let die.
A social worker recalls helping a group of nurses communicate with a patient who spoke Greek and was isolated and scared, they didn’t have to care so much, she said, but it was the act of caring so hard that maintained their sanity.
I recall the surreal nature of one of our make-shift ICUs towards the end of the first wave, messy, music from phones in the background, “bunny suits” tied around everyone’s waist (they are hot to wear all day).
When these snippets of shared memories are recalled, everyone looks the same, they get glassy eyed, as if peering into a dark distant place, then everyone says the same things.
“I can’t remember much about it.”
“It’s too soon-I don’t want to think about it.”
“I had no one to talk about this with anyway. “
“It pisses me off that everyone outside is bitching and moaning about being BORED!”
“I’m scared, I don’t think I could do it again. But I’m scared that we’re gonna have to, no one is paying attention!”
I don’t know how I’ll be able to do it again, but I will… as will everyone else, no matter how scared they are. It’s what we do.
Covid Update
So, I don’t care what you think of New York or it’s governor, New York and the Northeast (except Vermont) has done an amazing job in decreasing cases of Covid.
I fear for all those states that thought we were joking or that we were over dramatic “snowflakes” ( I invite you to see the refrigerated trucks behind the hospital). You are now being hit with it worse than we were.
Wear all the PPE.
I address the new Covid Warriors (healthcare workers) :
Patients should get high flow O2 and lay them prone. All of the meds we have now DON’T WORK!
Isolation is important as is hand hygiene.
Eat well, sleep, wear your mask it’s not political, it’s reality, exercise. Keep relative isolation from vulnerable family members.
Scrubs, head covers with buttons on the sides for the mask straps (look on Etsy) and “Covid sneakers” that you change out of outside your house and throw in the wash before walking in.
Be good to yourself, it’s gonna suck and you’ll likely end up as damaged as we are in the NE. We’ll be here when you need help like you helped us.
New Mask
On a not serious note, I got a new mask.
Base Camp Mask
Since we’re all going to need masks for the foreseeable future, I ordered a very cool looking and comfortable mask. It is super comfortable with a Velcro strap around the back of the neck (takes the strain off the ears) very breathable with replaceable filters inside.
Called Base Camp masks, it’s good quality, solid shipping and less than 40 dollars.
You’ll spend more on boxes of cheap masks of poor quality that don’t look near as cool. Btw, I’m not getting paid to show you the mask, I just think it’s cool.
As always, wash ya hands, wear a mask, social distance, and love each other… we are all we have.
Viruses are small, very small. The reason they can be small like that, is that they aren’t burdened with the need to have structures that real live organisms need to qualify them as being alive.
To recap, viruses are tiny bits of genetic material surrounded by a shell and an injector mechanism. It has no way to generate energy, it can’t eat, reproduce on its own, or move on its own.
So considering that viruses don’t need all those bells and whistles, they can be small.
Viruses don’t fly
Since viruses are small, and have no structures that make them alive, they also don’t have wings, jet engines, wheels, or any other way to get around on their own.
In order for a virus to be spread, it needs a “vector “ (a means of transfer). It can be fecal-oral (yeah, exactly what it sounds like) like hepatitis A is spread (ewww), fomites (surfaces), or in aerosol droplets. Aerosol droplets are small, but are huge in comparison to a virus particle.
Considering this virus needs to enter through the mucus membranes of the upper respiratory tract, it’s got to get from the mouth or nose of one person to another.
Touching something that has live virus on it then touching your mouth/nose/ or face is a good way to get it, therefore the warning to wash your hands.
But think about it, how do these viruses get on the surfaces, rarely do people lick counter tops or doorknobs (this isn’t that kind of blog) the most likely culprit is aerosols landing on these surfaces.
Remember, viruses need a helper. When a person coughs, a huge number of mucus particles that necessarily contain a wide sampling of all your mouth flora spew into the air (about 6-8 ft). That’s why the social distance recommendation is made.
Mask
So the main reason for the mask, is to keep your particles from blowing all over creation and to prevent other people’s gross little virus bombs from getting on your mucus membranes.
An extra benefit is that it’s hard to touch your mouth and nose while wearing the mask.
So although technically, most masks cannot stop a free flying guided missile version of a virus, the mask doesn’t have to!
It only needs to decrease the number of relatively large particles from one mouth to the next.
Masks work.
This has been the basis of why surgeons use masks and wash their hands for over a hundred years. And it DOES WORK.
Wear the mask, don’t be a statistic, the best revenge is to live well and stay healthy.
It’sBeginning To Change
The “inside” isn’t so inside anymore. With fewer admissions for COVID, the hospital is clearing and cleaning entire units in preparation to begin regular operation (at least somewhat). It’s wonderful… and yet.
The closeness that developed between people who had never met before will slowly become a memory, the usual Balkanization of Hospital life returning to pit us all against each other for attention (and the accompanying allocation of resources).
I hope that the sense of unity and the camaraderie we had during this time of “combat” remains and we don’t forget what it meant to heroes to each other as well as to the patients.
There is a strong possibility that we’ll be called upon to do it again…
Medical update
Sadly, not much that we have in the armamentarium works in the way we give it now. The drugs we need to try (in combinations and earlier) are NOT generally available. From anywhere!
Vaccines (despite happy talk on TV) are NOT right around the corner. Antibodies are still not known for sure to give immunity. In short, we are STILL working with No Ammo.
The only things we can do right now is wear masks, social distance, wash hands, exercise, eat healthy, and LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Please do not take chances and become a statistic. Go out into the world again armed with as much knowledge and common sense as you can. It seems to be in short supply.
Being smart and prepared is NOT a sign of weakness, flouting common sense is.
1. A brand new 3M N-95 mask smells a little like vanilla ice cream.
2. All nurses are amazing.
3. You can’t shock an ER nurse.
4. ICU nurses will save your life.
5. Nurses who have ever cared for COVID patients are certified Badass, will chew steel for lunch and spit out nails.
6. I would go into battle with any nurse at my side.
6a. Nurses Aides are the infantry in healthcare, they do the grunt work and come up with most brilliant observations in the fight. The view that is often overlooked by the higher ups.
7. There is a whole population of younger people (35-60 yo) who’ve contracted COVID who are alive, on high flow and high percentage oxygen, can’t move more than side to side, and are trapped as chronic pulmonary disease patients likely forever.
8. There is a whole new population of younger people (35-60 yo) who’ve contracted COVID who are now on hemodialysis as well as chronic pulmonary disease patients.
9. The medical system will have to re-create the “sanatorium” system for these patients for many years to come to aggregate these patients under the care of expert Doctors and Nurses if they are to have any hope of return to society.
10. Most of what we give now (in terms of medications) and the way we give it now is minimally effective.
11. The best treatments are oxygen, prone positioning, nutrition, great nursing care, and love.
12. It is genuinely frightening to walk into a building every day knowing that you could get a deadly disease, pass it to everyone you know, and become just another statistic, a mere number in a ledger.
13. It is frightening to realize that this is going to be the way it is for a VERY long time (even when there is a vaccine).
14. Much the same way that “every Marine is a rifleman first”. Every physician should be capable of intelligently and effectively managing a patient from top to bottom, specialty comes later. This should be reviewed on a certain timetable, not by testing, but by doing.
As always, wash your hands, don’t touch your face, wear masks in public, do the social distance thing, and practice love and kindness. There is too much hatred in the world.
Life, Health, and Policy. 